I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
