she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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