it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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