My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
