the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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