Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
