I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
