I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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