Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
