from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
