I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
