We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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