I will die if light touches me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
