is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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