last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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