we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
