I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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