Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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