She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
