If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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