yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
