I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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