I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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