vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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