I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
