Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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