this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
no you cant smoke seaweed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
