Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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