I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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