peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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