There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
