Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
