she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
