thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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