i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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