You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
