so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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