Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize