I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
