if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
