HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
