I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
