five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
