we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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