Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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