When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
