Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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