Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
