just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
