this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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