no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
