i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
