Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
