if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
