Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
