Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
