So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
