Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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